I'm a Lumberjack and I'm OK!

Pre-race – Heat and storms made sleep tough on Thursday night; installing an air conditioner in your bedroom window at 11 p.m. isn’t the best way to make friends with your neighbors. Friday came too fast, but Brad knows me well enough by now to know that I’d be early. 6:30 pick-up, 6:38 Starbucks, 6:53 on the road to Michigan. Nice drive, no traffic, clear sailing until Ludington. Then, emergency vehicles; Rt. 31 washed out, 60-mile detour around the National Forest.

Arrive at Big M, get geared up, hit the inner, 8mi loop twice for pre-ride. They had 10in of rain and 80mph winds the night before, but you wouldn’t have known it, except for all the sticks. Sand sucked up the rain, trail was sweet. Awesome volunteer effort. Sandy tries to get my autograph – she thinks I’m Floyd! Start the ride; first few minutes, Brad says “this is the sandy climb?” Then we turned left. Ouch.

Got done, said hi to Danielle and the O’Deas, so I'm no longer the wierd Blogger stalker guy on Danielle's site. Endurance people are so cool! Headed into town and settled in a the hotel. Dinner recommendation nixed due to no power, so we drove up to the steakhouse just out of town. Everyone was there. Watched Tiger. Tortilla chip-encrusted tilapia with fries. Yum. Sleep came early, but predictably didn’t last long.

Race day – Pumping tires at 1:30 a.m. wakes up your roommate, even when you hide in the bathroom. Dozing and dreaming of big, sandy hills doesn’t help you sleep. 3:58 is not a 4 a.m. wakeup, but it’s enough time for a second cup of coffee. Load the car at 5, out at 5:12, we’re not the first on the road. Killer parking spot, gear up, drop the cooler, pre-ride the end of the lap, jog a bit, say hi to Scott and Laura and the kids, head down the road for the start. 58 degrees but 100 percent humidity.

Line up behind Eatough, damn he’s looking thin. And a single-speeder – he better be fast, it’s 2 miles on the road. Clock starts when we hit the dirt, mini van lead-out. Go.

Lap 1 – I can get used to road lead-outs. I know how to ride them. Top 10 onto the trail, pinched to the right but that’s where I want to be, except for the deep sand early on the climb. Get through it, still top 15, hit the wall, two guys walking, time to run. Jump off, make up two spots, power the last part of the climb and we’re rolling. Settle in with a guy from Columbus riding a Cannondale – nonstop talking, we can see the lead group cresting as we start the small climbs. Stick jumps and smacks my jaw, branch in my eye, misjudge a turn and he’s leading me. We catch Johnny Cash, a guy in all black, at the end of the 8mi inner loop. 90 seconds back from the lead as we start the big loop.

Cruising the next 4 miles, another Canondale guy in green catches us. I sit on the back, enjoying Johnny’s pace. They miss a climb, I have to run, catch on easily. Cruising. Fly past the aid station. Green Cannondale misses a turn, I’m in third position. Then SPLASH. We hit the swamp. Ride, run, ride, run, wrong turn, thank goodness it was four of us or the swamp creatures would have taken the stragglers. I make it out fourth, fight a bit to stay with them. Manage to catch before the big hills. Then CRUNCH. Crap. Stick in the rear mech. Stop, pull it out. Start to chase.

Up, around, down, up, up, up. Around and there they are, turn a corner and all of a sudden I’m on the deck. Slammed a pedal on a stump. Crap. Bike OK, body OK. Chase, but it’s not going to happen – they’re gone. Up the switchback, hit the hills, I’m alone with a long way to go. Pull into the pits and Laura says I’m in 16th. Cool, thanks. BIG MISTAKE – I only grab one bottle, with a half still on the bike. Roll it.

Lap 2 – Cruising, feeling good, not sure I’ll catch but don’t want to be caught, so keep the pressure on. Lose two spots early but gain back two. Or are we already lapping people? That can’t be, can it?

Catch Johnny at the end of the inner loop – hey, you were with the Cannondale guys, right? Blow past him on a climb, he digs to stay with me. The two of us keep it up, talking. He works for Salsa in Minneapolis. Cool He passes me in the swamp. I’m climbing better, but he’s faster on the downhills. Stick in my rear rotor, and I’m chasing again. Have to pee, stop so I don’t climb with a full bladder. How friggin' far is it to that switchback? Catch him just after, he’s running the steep so I do too. He bombs the downhill and we enter the pits almost together. Laura apologizes for not knowing what place I’m in – no worries, thanks for the encouragement! Down a Coke, two bottles on the bike, and I’m off.

Lap 3 – Cresting the hill, look back and there’s Johnny way down there; I beat him out of the pits, can I hold him off? Feeling good, going fast, drinking, drinking, drinking – oh, crap, I’m so dehydrated I feel like puking. This is not good. OK, calm, riding OK, two bottles should get you to the aid station. Can you hold him off until then? Probably. Concentrate, stay smooth, fly on the downhills, ignore your thirst. Forget the cramps, keep it up. Don't look at your watch. OK, look -- BAM! I catch my right grip on a tree. Dumbass.

An aid station never looked so good. One cup of Powerade. Two. Three. Four. Five. A cup of water over the head. Another in the mouth. A cup of Heed. A bottle refill of Heed. A volunteer refilling my water bottle. Do you need something to eat? No, thanks, just fluids. A Coke? No, just had one 12.5 miles ago. Deep breath, roll it.

Whew. Feeling much better. Cruise to the swamp, still no sign of Johnny. Run the length this time, bottom has gotten too deep. Can I make it to the hills? Dig it, fight the cramps, keep it up, keep eating. Damn that sand tastes like crap on my bottle tops.

Make it to the hills, lap traffic, have to ride to look good. Did I pass someone too? Maybe. Not sure. Chain is screeching. Thank goodness I can get them cheap. Stand to the tree, then cruise to the pits. Scott is there with lube. Bad day for him. OK if it’s this brand? Beggars can’t be choosers! 2:30, longest pit, plenty hydrated. See you in a couple of hours!

Lap 4 – I’ve been here before. Stay on the gas, you need the training and don’t want to get caught. Make it to the end of the inner loop. Make it to the aid station. Make it to the swamp. Pass people. Are they really only on lap three? Sandy is out there on her tandem, “Hey, it’s almost Floyd! Good luck!” Thanks. Just a few miles to go.

Cruising now, feeling good, not as fast but feeling better than lap 2. Just three downhills and two hills to go. Two and two. Two and one. One and one. 8 hours comes and goes, body starting to shut down. C’mon, it can’t be that far. Push it, push it … and whew. Onto the switchback, there’s a guy in black over behind you – it can’t be, it can’t be, whew, it isn’t. Stay on the gas anyway, cruise the downhill, and ahhhhhh … there’s a guy finishingrighttherecanIsprintnocraphe’sdoneand so ... am ... I. Whew. Collect my patch and I’m a Lumberjack!